what to do?

We spent time together when he found…at least this time we don’t need to hide..cos no one would care (only us)

walking on the rain,..talking about nonsense thing again..I told him my story but he never shared his story (his life in Afghanistan..) (but I ignore it..it does not matter anyway cos his with me and im satisfied with that)..

We spent time strolling around the city..(and anyway the rain is here with us again..)we watch movies and play bowling.. and you know guys what I really don’t like?..those girls around keep on stared at him..Damn!.

I sleep to his hotel for  5 (as in FIVE) nights..(and anyway nothing happened ok?)..He is nice not to do that diba?.I mean all boys want is “F_C_  from girls?.but he is not like them..Ok?.

But of all stories that I’ve heard from him?..i was offended when he tells me that ..there’s is a GIRL whom he met (living in the next city) and he use to like..but he got TURNED Off cos he saw that girl in the morning with another guy..I mean what about me?..what if he never saw that she’s with another guy?. would he stop looking for me?.

I still have this advice from my old friend that “IF YOU LIKE HER/HIM  THEN YOU WOULD NOT TELL THEM THAT YOU LIKED someone..( I mean were both living in one country diba?.)

Cos that would offend them even though they’ll never tell you (isn’t obvious?)

How insensitive diba?.

Anyway right now?..as in right now? April 01,2011?..we stopped texting each other for a month now?..

WE had this misunderstood thing happened..

And anyway?..its a small matter but its became this far..hmmp?.

I lost my cp 1 day after we had talk..me and my girls went to samal for refreshing  (it’s a girl night out)..I was excited cos I only got a chance to see them when they’re not busy..

We drink a little (of course I don’t drink much)..and keep on dancing all night..we keep on laughing and sharing experience at the call center before…

But when I see this guy whose been watching me the whole time while dancing?..i decided to stop dancing and pretend that I was sleepy..and I leave the girls out and stay inside and fell a sleep..

And at the morning we decided to leave the resort early..we stayed to our friends house and laughing again..and at lunch time I decided to go home cos of head ache..I was soo tired..And I realized that I haven’t touch my Cellphone the whole time..

Because of overwhelming, happiness cos im with my friends again I forgot wer I put my cp..(damn!)

I keep on thinking where It could possible be…

But after 2 weeks I guess?..my friends found it in there bed..(hmmP..damn)

I was happy to have my cp back..even though my cp is old model I still treasure that cos that cp has been with me for 4 years..(heehhehe)..

I Got 3 miscalled from 1 from my cousin 2 from my sister..and I got 12 messages from them..

BUT I DON’T GET ANY MISSCALL ATLIST ONE MESSAGE FROM “aAron”.. L

I was hurt cos of it..but I still pretend that im ok..i txted him first depite of ignoring me for 2 weeks..

But his not the same anymore..he is cold now..i was hurt..

He even accuse me of lying..having said that cos he said “I think you ddnt lost your cp..after what happened?.I mean what is he thinking?.i was hurt more cos he accuse me on lying to him..

I mean that is FUCK!! Im not a liar!!.

But then life must go on… I said Good bye to him..and thank him for everything.. (after all he never really like me nor love me.)

One sided way of love does not exist! And I should have known that..

What is this thing called?..  I think about all the good times.. i think back to all the perfect memories we made..

Is this the end of my dream?.is this what I get of praying for him and meeting him?. (I felt no regret)..i love him since the day I met him.. and I still DO..

But things are not wer they use to..I have to open my eyes widely and see who really HE IS AND NOT WHAT I WANT HIM TO BE..i was hurt that ive been longing for him for 2 years..we never made any promise that someday we’re gonna see each other again.. but who can tell that’s we ’re here now..

But in reality there’s no more “ME and HIM”.. L

but i still think about him… his face is everywhere. everything i look at somehow reminds me of him.The RED truck, a funny joke he told when i was with him … i remember ALL the details. i dont understand y i cant forget him? the spark is still there..(kainis)

should I count the stars again to be able to see that one falling star again?.i guess I need to make a wish…

Can somebody tell me...WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH ME?.

im worried it wont ever go away.

I always thought I was stronger than the emotions I was feeling and so fought them – trying to convince myself that I was ok… of course this tactic didn’t work very well

I love him..can someone tell me what do to?