He want to revenge

its hard to pretend that im OK and that im alright thou im not.! its damn hard to say im "OK DONT WORRY" thou im dying inside.. :'(
Its hard to give way thou you know you cant give him away just like that :'( ..Its hard to let him with her thou you know you have starting on liking and LOVE him! :'( :'( Is this the right thing TO DO?..can someone tell me how not to feel confuse?.

ITs all hard to DO cuz its FUCKING NOT okie.!!
Thou i have to trust him...the pain is still INVOLVE
and that pain causing to much (its like a thousand PINCH) pain in me and in my heart :'(

You're not mine

I know your not mine..But i hope that will not cost any pain!

You're not mine and I know it

 But that night I couldn't hold it in

Because I feel just right When you're standing next to me

I've got these perfect pictures in my head of possibility It was the words you whispered then

They led me to believe You led me to believe

.....♥.....

♥

I shouldn't let you confuse me

I know from the very beginning "its all about her" (HJ)

We started as friends and i should have keep it like way

Now its to late for me to regret cuz iM In it now

Its hurting me whenever i think of how crazy you are (over her)

How you want her bad in your life

You keep on telling me that you chose me against her but thats not true

youre just using me to forget her

im just a second option..

Im afraid that someday (hope not soon)she will be back

and take you AWAY from me

on that day i might broke again (my heart will break)

Im starting on liking you more than i thought

I dont want this feeling cuz i know "HJ" will always be there in your heart

BUt you keep on fulling me with your beautiful words and I cant let go

Im tired of arguing but i cant help it..cuz you always doing something for her

Its like you want her BAD ...and what/where is my place in your life if she came back?

Its hard to let go

But if you guys love each other that much

then i would let go and set you FREE

cuz it would be soo selfish to continue it

I might get hurt seriously but pain is normal

I will just gonna cry till my heart aches end (char!)

...♥ irah_luiese ♥... 

 

I cant understand this anymore

I dont know what's God plan for me..but i know that im really hurting right now.
I cant accept any more pain..

I was thinking that..what if i die today?or maybe tomorrow? what would it be the meaning of my life?

Mr.Pretender

And soo when he arrived here I tour him around and show him the City.

I also helped him to find that girl.But Seemed like the girl is hiding..Cuz his brother don’t want to tell anything about her.Her family keeps on hiding her (covering her with stories).I work hard and did everything to help him to see his gf (I can see and in his eyes the desire of seeing that girl). Tsssk tssk tssk!.

Wen I send him to his hotel .. He let me in and I didn’t refuse it ;) I look around in his room.. and you know what i saw?... his laptop is apple, his cellphone is apple and perfume is chanel (fucking SHIT!!! I thought he is Poor! )

And soo I pretend that I don’t know anything..i ddnt ask him about that! (ugh)

After a few days He went out and meet a new girl ..i mean he cant live like that anymore..looking for a girl who don’t want to come out! And soo if he will go out and meet someone then it would help him feel better…and that’s what he did..

while im working he txted me to say “HI and Good morning”..and after a few hours I was shocked! (oh shit!)

..He’s asking me if I want to be his Personal assistant.! (oh men what is this all about?)

AN then I ask him..why asking me that kind of question men?..you’re confusing me…

I ask him why me?..( as in WHY ME?)..why? why? Why? 

 He hired me as his Tour Guide (cool.!! While im working as computer attendant I also work as his Private tutor, tour Guide,Avisor Nanny and nurse ahahahaha he paid me 20,000 after 10 days )..

Few nights after… he ask me out for a Dinner..He said he want to go to some nice restaurant and soo I take him to “Jack Rigde “ ..(damn!) He order Expensive one (“ugh”) and he gave 500 box for tip!.damn!

I ask him/CONFRONT him! Are you really poor? Or your just pretending?

I got this funny feelings that he’s just pretending the whole time!!! And you know what he DID? He laughed at me!! (grrrrr) He said Im not Rich But Im not Poor for sure!..

He want me to be his assistant cuz the have seen the sincerity in my eyes?? (duh?)

in my effort? (hmmp?)

My loyalty? (oh yeah)

I don’t fool around? ( am i?)

He said I never try to take advantage on him? ( hhmmmmmmmppppp)

He tried  me many times..(he said that)

Anyway I told him not to trust me…cuz he just met me a couple of days  :P

(im a monster)

Not alone this Christmas

Hmm.. I got a new story.. I meet a guy whos asking for help ( I don’t know of all people he chose me)

He said because of my Profile :P that’s why he chose me..

And here it goes….lalalalalalalalaa…..alala… He said he will visit the Philippines to meet his long chat mate/gf (morethan 6 months?is that long?).But the guy have had a problem cuz he sense that the girl seemed like don’t want to meet him in person..

When they’ve been chatting the girl is sooo sweet..Sooo nice…They’ve been talking almost every day (8 hours a day) ..calling each other everyday and night..And they were planning on their marriage. The guy keeps on sending the girl bunch of money twice a month. He even gave her a Diamond ring.bought her laptop.He also sent her money  for the Down Payment for their Condo (their future home)..

As days goes by the guy felt crazy inlove with her and cant wait to see/meet her in person..so he decided to visit the Philipines..but when he got the Plane Ticket and tell to his GF that his coming (*sigh*)

Suddenly after that day the girl became cold and she always has an alibi …(like shes going to other country and work their etc…blalalala).. (poor guy)

And so the guy ask help from me to find him some cheap hotel (safe,clean and as possible center of the city)

He said he cant pay expensive hotel..hes not rich he’s just an ordinary guy who has no house..He said he grow up inside a House made of CAR? (hmmm?really)

And so I felt bad about that soo I helped him..i find him some nice,clean ,safe and cheap hotel and yet near to everything 

I gave him all the details, the contact info.

I also call the front desk of that hotel and tell them everything

And the guy called them too

I actually Helped him on one condition :)  I want him to be my date on Christmas Day (No one wants to be alone right?) 

ahahaha ..crazy idea!!!

I feel soo alone after my "X" ignore me for how many WEEKS,days and times....

I dont want my christmas to me Cold ...cold like ICE" (arrrrr)..

soo for a change why not "GO OUT AND HAVE SOME FUN"

Im tired of lonely Christmas :) (spending it always alone :(    )

soo sooo and soo thats it! aha!

2012 count down

Oh well.. atleast i have had a happy Christmas Eve and Happy New year
and birth day spending with my new friend ;)
Whats important is that im not alone on that special holidays

Thanks to you ;)