jealous

Im not jealous! who says that i am? huh?!
were just friends! no right to get mad nor jealous :(

but why is that i feel like im mad? (noway! maybe im just worried cuz he's not from our country and im not sure if he can trust this girl..hope he'll be fine and safe where ever that girl take him)

and anyway?.He likes Arlene ..thats why im trying to send him away to Arlene ( i mean why not?. if he like her..)
He said arlene is nice and he met her online to..
I mean he deserve to be happy and maybe arlene is the right girl for him..cuz that girl name Hj is not soo Good to him right now (anyway i dont know Hj soo its wrong if i judge her ..*peace girl*)

But i hope he will find his happiness as soon as he can..God will help him :)
amen..

Week end skape :P

yeah yeah..we went to isla reta beach resort this last Dec.18, 2011and Maxima Fun Resort :D

I have fun huh..

Its my second time there at isla reta..its a quit cheap but not expensive though their beach is nice, the water is soo nice,clear and the view of the beach was soo cool.The only problem with them is that they dont have air-condition room and their toilet is not soo nice.. (eeww) and the water from their toilet was salty..anyway i still want to go back there..It was fun staying their the whole week men!! :)

alalalalalal ^_^ love it.. thank you Mr. Pretender  

Monfort Bat Sanctuary

The Monfort Bat Sanctuary

I heard a lot of stories about Monfort Bat Sanctuary (Bat Cave for short)

And have had read some news/reports about largest known colony of the species in the world (bat colony). The bats all live in a single cave – guests aren’t allowed to enter.but they can peer over bamboo railings into any of five openings where the seething masses of sleeping fruit bats can be seen coating the cave walls.

At first I ddnt know that the biggest colony spices can be found here in  Philippines thou I’m a Pilipina and I just known it recently (as I don’t go out often cuz of my nature)

But I don’t want to miss my chance to see them ..soo when my Bf asked me for some tourist spot I recommend him this Bat Sanctuary. (I mean why not dba?)

But when we got there (that’s was 4-5 months ago I guess?) I was amazed! They’re really to many. (I mean WOW).it confuse me..”how did those resident scientist notice or know their counts?

Well anyway I did asked them..and our tour guide said that they  have this machine that help them to counts all of em ;)

He caught this nice one ;)

As far as i can remember our tour guide said that

 if the bat's is pregnant they  openeth they're wings 

There they are  ...(kinda grouse) 

this nice view is taken near Bat Cave ;) (just walking distance from here)

Closer and closer 

but no one is allowed to get too much closer ok...

Some of this Bats are pregnant

So... if before they are 1.8M then expect it now to be more than that

as female bats were almost continuously pregnant.

Its really kinda Dark inside

I also found out  that Male Bat's "pee" is more stinky than female Bat..

Alright that is my experience on this Nice Creature and would love to go back there again one day ;) 

Water Front Davao 2011

Ive been to many hotel here in Davao But Water Front is one of the Most convenient Hotel (thou I hate their Front Desk/Receptionist)  I still would like recommend this to my friends.Cuz i like there garden in the morning wer you can walk with your love one ;) and their Sea side ;)

Aside from having a buffet break fast that has Good taste (yummy and most are nutritious food/fruits)Their Chef/Cook is also professional.. having said.. As a blogger I do love to try different kinds of cuisine, And I tried to Visit many places which means I tried many hotel from 5-2 star ..(So I know.)well ..It is actually depend on how you appreciate things around you ;)

They have a very friendly staff but one thing I don’t like about this hotel is their Front desk/Receptionist.

They over charge us.. they want us to pay for international Call (cost 600+) which is not ours..Good thing my bf did double chek  all their report for our payment ;) ..(cus we never call anyone)

SO you guys..? check everything before you give them your money(b4 you pay;) )

Their front desk need some discipline. I was so upset when that thing happened.

One of the Reason why Marco Polo is still On TOP cuz their staff is working well(aside from Pretty ladies)

They also have a good buffet break fast  and their chef is  good ;)  (thumb up guys)

And you guys should know that their Pool is 6ft to 10ft sooo... if you cant swim (like me)then better try to take their Jakuzi :) ehehehe  

Their Pool in the Morning ;)..

You can just relax and seat there while watching the clouds after break fast ;)

Our seat ;)

Night view of their Pool (Oooh Mmmy very Romantic @ night)..

Specially when there's a lot of stars @night

lounge area (near to front desk)

My toilet mirror(ehehe)

Our Bed and terrace :)

Sea side (infront was Samal Island)

Coconut Trees ;) and Gardens?

Thats me! (ahamM!..ahaAM!) ehhe

ANyway guys Good luck on your vacation and hope you'll enjoy spending time there ;)

Thank you for reading my blog

Regards

 Luiese

snake bites

Last 3 nights ago i dreamed of being bite by many snake climbing on the trees :(
I was flying but they were hunting/following me and they bite me whenever they reached me :(
But when i got wounded badly there is a guy who helped me and cure my wound
i cant remember his face..

can someone tell me how to avoid this grouse dreams?
i dont like it anyway..i cant sleep well :(

Cold Christmas :(

This is one of the saddest Christmas Day in my life..The spirit of Christmas is only great when you can feel the spirit of it..but maybe because of many incident now a days.

(WHATS IMPORTANT IS THAT OUR FAMILY IS COMPLETE)

And anyway another LONELY (alone) Christmas in my life 

Im still single and my heart is still in pain cuz of Mr.C ( I hope he’s fine where ever he is).

This month I always go to the church and ask FATHER IN HEAVEN “hope not to be alone nor feel alone next Christmas (December 2012).

And yes !...my birth day too 

This might be my 4rth birth day alone and feeling soo SAD and still feeling empty…

And soon? Valentines day again (alone again) oh men!

Life is soo unfair and God’s love is soo unfair 

I don’t wanna get old alone..

If there is one wish on my Birthday? “I wish to meet that guy” (did I met him? or he’s still looking for me?) ehehe

I was planning to stroll the whole City and send/give Many Coins to all the beggars that on the street.

(If I will spend that special days alone..)

I know that the happiest Christmas is to be with your family nor to be with your “love one” but I don’t have them right now..but seeing someone’s smile after giving them gift, coins (whom you don’t know) on this  Special holidays can still make you happy.. atleast that means a lot to them.. You are maybe not happy but you made someone happy J

Im still not ok

im still not Ok..But perhaps i still can wear that smile :)

I just miss him around :(

and i miss him soO much but dont think he feel the same way..

shiny black snake with stripe brown black snake

last night I dreamed of 2 snakes.. shiny black snake and black brown snake again...(i dont know why its always happened)...they were crawling together and its coming on my way.. its like they want to tell me something but also they were hiding from someone (someone whom “I don’t know who”)they stopped in front of me and tells me something but I cant remember it now.. when i walked on rocky road (parang Selecta ice cream:) )they keep on following me.. that 2 person transform into snake and swim into the lake but that lake became swimming pool (confusing dream)and the brown snake became crocodile? (yeah it is)..and the black snake remained black..

When I try to follow that snake I saw my bf on the pool on the other  part of that place.?..and on my dream I was in the forest with trees and water/lake.. I guess that snake trying to show me something (in my dream I have a bf ..haha in my dream I know him but when I walk up I cant remember his face anymore..I saw that guy/bf  fucking other girl inside the pool and no one is around only me..I was watching them trying to make some noise to stop them but he didn’t notice that I was around and the guy cant hear my noise  either but the girl can see me and hear me and she staring at me while my bf fucking her she even smiled.. (grrr)

The girl is soo inlove with my bf and that she keeps on staring at him and so my bf try to fuck her and the girl like’s it..the girl was wearing “red shirt”..After that they went into our room holding hands walking like lovers and I keep on following them but the guy still ddnt notice that im behind them. (behind them crying while watching them).. and when I follow them into our hotel room the girl wasn’t there..And then I start on screaming but my voice is out of tune (i cant hear my own voice) ..

 ..in my dream I have a baby with him and its “twin”

..im not a MYTH believer and I ignore every dream that I had have …but this time can I still IGNORe it?..it keeps on coming back again and again..I don’t  know why there is always black snake in my dream..thou I sleep happy and calm I still dream of it…

Can somebody tells me the meaning of it?,..

 
this is what they looked like :(

miss him always

Missing him around always:(

every sounds and everything i do reminds me of Mr.C :(

I dont know how long should i wait to have him back again :(

And i dont know what to do to see him again..

as he said he's not happy on chatting with me :(

I cant tell him that i miss him sooo :(

cuz whenever i dare too ....the words that came from him is always crossing on my mind

(he said:  im not happy of chatting with you anymore) and that stopping me on writing him :(

I cant tell him that i miss him

That he is the soundtrack of my life :(

I miss you sooo

oh noo :(

huhu :'( soo sad and mad somebody deleted my history chat!! (ugh shit!!)

i only have 100 history left :( huhuh

Heaven Knows (no one can tell)

Heaven Knows 

he's always on my mind
From the time I wake up
'Til I close my eyes
he's everywhere I go
he's all I know

Though he's so far away
It just keeps getting stronger every day
And even now he's gone
I'm still holding on

So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let him go

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find their way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

My friends keep telling me
That if you really love him
You've gotta set him free
And if he returns in kind
I'll know he's mine

So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let him go

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find their way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know he's never there
And all these time I act so brave
I'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find their way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

Heaven knows


i miss you

smile of pain

atleast i can smile.. and still.. i can pretend that i am happy though the pain is soo obvious ;)

When you fall inlove? "pain" is expected (right?)

but thou you know it..you still dying cuz it is really painful ;)

specially wen you can sense him around (you know the felling of following by his shadow everywhere?)

Its like a paranoid thing right?(maybe i am a certified paranoid now ;) ) 

oohh yess i am (whos not?)

Im just a girl who's falling inlove and there's nothing wrong with that..(i guess?) 

missing piece

working!working! trying to keep myself busy so that i wont feel that pain atleast half of  it..
keep the music loud and try to read some bible verse for tomorrow's teaching (at the church for the kids)
Try to occupy all my time but whenever i take a deep breath atleast every seconds?the pain  keeps on coming back... (again and again..) i always feel it..i can feel it everywhere :(

Please save me from this pain :(
i need you :(

another wedding again? (ugh)

oh men! my girl friend called me and said she's getting married soon :) (sigh)

All of my friends were getting married and i think im gonna be single till im 60? (heheh)

SHe's so happy i can feel it.

Shes soo happy when she was telling me that "girl im getting married after 6 months ;)

I was happy for her..and you know it..

But suddenly i was stopped when she asked me "what about you?when are you gonna get married? "

(ouch!)

empty mind and weak heart

i feel soo WEAK right now :(

I dont know how and where to get energy to continue with my life

with out him around is lifeless

I can feel the pain through my vain 

and im loosing my mind every seconds of the day

This pain is soooo criminal its killing me slowly :( 

My tears make my pillow wet every-night cuz of this pain in me (tears from my eyes keeps on flowing)

I took energy drink today and last night just to get back to my work

but at the end of the day the pain is growing strong... specially when its 7:00pm cuz that's our dating hour :(

Every single minute of the day i think of Mr.C

How could he break my heart thinking that i JUST LOVED him!?

Im missing you right now..but i cant tell you.. cuz you dont want me around

YOu said im causing you stress and pressuring you :(

I never wish to be important to you but i want to be something for you

BUt for you IM NOTHING (and you said you have no time for nothing and thats what's hurt)

But despite all this I DO LOVE YOU still :*

kiss kiss and Hug

X.O.X.O

aira

cyril ko

all i need is you (i love you)

FOR YOU Mr.C

Lose someone i need makes my heart melt with pain and tears  :( 

with that YES? everything was just...... broked! :(

With that YES my heart was again in the dark side of No where.

WE only need time and space to realize what we are to each other

but why breaking up with me?.Just because of stress?.and your accusing me of not happy in a relationship with you?

how would you know?youre not me..how would you know that im not happy with you?

AS youve said my promise is troubled me?and that you said im desire of chatting with other guys?.I never ever want to chat with other guys  and i made that promise as part of my love for you..WHy cant you see that.!

Im contented that i have you why would i have to chat with other?.

Again cool off and break up is different!

But dont worry im not mad at all.. ;) im just hurt cuz of what you did and said last night.

I know you NEED time..and i maybe need some time too..

I love you and that feelings wont just go away you know why? cuz its real :(

I dont wanna let you go

I dont wanna lose you

and I cant let you go

But this is what you WANt (and i respect it)
and maybe it can make you feel Good

Hope YOU'll find yourself soon.

im gonna miss our chatting everyday

I'll just gonna stay here for you

I will wait till you feel fine

Till you feel that you miss me and need me

You know how to contact me

I will still kept my promise of not chatting with other

cuz im only yours

i love you :( 

the good bye

Mr.C wants to stop our chatting for his sake.He ddnt even think about "what i might feel".

his name was on her shirt

i dream of a girl wearing white shirt and the name of Mr.C was printed on her white shirt..but the face of that girl in my dream was blur.. I was hurt again cuz of it..cuz this few week Mr.C is soo cold..I dont want to admit that im tired of believing him.. I miss him but he ddnt even notice it :(

crazy aira

AiRa is getting crazy!crazy crazy!AiRa is getting crazy!crazy crazy!AiRa is getting crazy!crazy crazy!

AiRa is getting crazy!crazy crazy!AiRa is getting crazy!crazy crazy!AiRa is getting crazy!crazy crazy!

AiRa is getting crazy!crazy crazy!AiRa is getting crazy!crazy crazy!AiRa is getting crazy!crazy crazy!

AiRa is getting crazy!crazy crazy!AiRa is getting crazy!crazy crazy!AiRa is getting crazy!crazy crazy!

AiRa is getting crazy!crazy crazy!AiRa is getting crazy!crazy crazy!AiRa is getting crazy!crazy crazy!

Changes

Mr.C is always Busy..thats his always alibi ..he's online often but every after few minutes his gone again..for 90 days that's his always alibi.
There is no day that his not busy.
Or maybe he lost his appetite on talking to me online. I feel bad about it..
If he dont want me anymore he should have told me earlier and dont let me hanged..
i was hurting you know..I trusted him!

Its like his throwing me away by the way that his "always busy"
Until now im still honest to him and i dont want to chat with other guys cuz i promised to Mr.C that his the only one for me and i have to kept my promise coz i have my words.
By the way that his busy? (always offline) His hurting me more..and that pain causing me to go away from him :(
His ignoring me thou im hurting..His always out of side when i need him to be around.

im crazy for you

im crazy...yes i am..but someday you'll miss this craziness of mine.But for sure?.im REAL!

Those people who cant understand me?..are those people who has a problem and not me..

Do i need to be really crazy for you to like me..

I need to do something for my self. you know

Just tell me if you dont need me..

Just tell me  if im nothing to you

just tell me if im wasting your time..

Just tell me if you cannot give yourself to me

Cuz someone is always waiting for someone who needs one to love and be loved..

why cant you understand me?

why cant you kept your promise?

Why cant you be serious sometimes?

why laughing at me when im HURT?

WHy are you soo insensitive? 

ARE you selfish?..

belly dancing

I join belly dancing to keep myself busy instead of thinking 'bout Mr.C ..to much attention on him makes my heart upset so easily :(..

i always thinking about Mr.C and soo sometimes wen we argue i got easily hurt and it was soo painful..so better to keep myself busy on many things..(anyway im not sure if he really mean that he loves me)..

But anyway?..i never attempt on cheating on him.I still believe that someday God will bless me with Mr.C's L♥VE...

I want him to be the last guy whom i will L♥ve

the last guy whom i will share my bed

The First and last guy whom i will give my LIFE

the First and last guy who will be the father of my kids 

 To Cook for him,wash his clothes,clean the house and waiting for him while his working :)

Ins't perfect?.. :)

I still forgived him :)

believing in lies doesn't mean that you are a fool..(for me)it means you do accept that person for who he is and what he has..(agree?)And that you are willing to accept his lies coz you love him... :)... and im not yet tired of believing :) coz thats how my L♥ve/heart functions when im loving someone.. :)...ehehhe

Coz you are my baby and happiness :)

I love you

Mei Dee

i caught Mr.C that his profile has a girl named Mei Dee that he
 is chatting with other girls..i was crying and dont know what to feel...
And i was confronting him but he's trying scape from it..ANd keep on saying "again and again..
and he even left me hanged... :( after all the myth about snake is still excess... :(

love make you do crazy things?

Love makes me do crazy thing cuz whenever im inlove im loosing control?..and doin thing "that i've never been done before?.

2.       and ....and ...and..Love is when you are in the middle of an argument, and you just know you are right, yet because you LOVE that person, you choose to accept it and believe in him..(cuz you love him).

he is mine

Mr.C and I are ok again. We've talk and fix this argument..

Im soo brat maybe..but i just want him to be mine only..dont want any girl flirt on him.

Im melting on jealous Thinking that other girl is thinking of him the way I DO.

flirting on him the way I DO..

I hate to think that some girls are crazy inlove with him the way i do.(cuz i want him to be mine only)

And im going soo crazy thinking that they are dying to hold him,kiss him and touch him the way I WISH I COULD DO to him always...

Thinking that Mr.C is smiling at them makes me sooo crazy!! and so jealous ..cuz i want that beautiful smile to be mine ONLY...

Call me selfish I dont mind.. But can you blame me on loving him this much?..my love for him makes me crazy!..

I wish i could just lock him inside my heart so that he cannot scape from me anymore (ehhehe)..CUz i want him to be MINE ONLY..

And the most painful is??.i dont think i can move on easily if he's GONE..

My heart need him and i want him in my LIFE.. 

Im soo single you know..

and i dont want to have a DATe with anyone anymore..

Im stick to one..and i will surely do (as long as i have Mr.C)...

God Bless me and my Baby ko..Amen

exchange of heart to understand how i feel

Mr.C and I had argue last night..and now he's mad me and i think he broked up with me (i guess)..
It was hurt ..(but hurt? its always there)..(when you love someone then expect the pain)
I just want to see his face always..but we only get a chance to see each other on cam every after 2 weeks of my shift.. (anyway we can make a change to this if he only want but its tooo late now)..

Im always expecting something from him....but i always got "zero"(or maybe atleast 30% only) result...i just want the signs of  LOVE..my fault also..but i guess this is the END of it..

thank you guys for reading my blog..i have more than 300 readers now :)

regards luiese

Black and white snake :(

i had a dream last night..its about black snake, me and my mahal ko (MR.C) ..I was looking for him Everywhere…

Looking for him all over the place (and he do too)..

We were just talking and he’s holding his CAM and taking pictures everywhere..and im just walking around looking for something..but I was shocked and scared when I saw a “BIG BLACK SNAKE” ..then I try to run and look for him to aware him about that snake (might hurt him or me)..but everywhere That snake is always on my way to HIM..I looked for him everywhere but what i always FOUND is a " BIG BLACK SNAKE"!!(again and again) i was afraid.    

.then i woke up! and realized it was only a dream..but the feeling of being afraid was still there..

I try to sleep again cuz its still early..but then when I fall a sleep??. theres  that BLACK snake again.. And my body was cold coz im sooo  scared of it…  

Then again I woke up..and again it was ONLY a DREAM!! Then I sleep again..and look for him again and again but I found that black snake AGAIN (that snake wont go away!!its always on my way) :( im scared (hell SCARED) :( but it ddnt bite at all..i don’t  know why..The snake just crawling and It ddnt looking at me either but it like It showing me something..(what was that dream all about?)  i dream of it 3 times in just 1 night only!!

Sad conversation with Mr.C

stupid night! i controlled myself not to talk or chat with any guy cuz of him..( i made a promise and dont wanna break it)

but Im not sure about my "meaning" for him.. (who am I to HIM

I mean what is his plan for me?. i dont see any future..

I DONT KNOW what I am to him!.but i KNOW what HE is for me! (and thats what hurts)

AND i dont know if this relationship will lead to something..
(i dont see anything) its less effort you know..

There is something wrong with him...(i can feel it)but i dont know what and where)

i need someone to tell me what is this thing all about..
and what am i suppose to DO?