what to do?

We spent time together when he found…at least this time we don’t need to hide..cos no one would care (only us)

walking on the rain,..talking about nonsense thing again..I told him my story but he never shared his story (his life in Afghanistan..) (but I ignore it..it does not matter anyway cos his with me and im satisfied with that)..

We spent time strolling around the city..(and anyway the rain is here with us again..)we watch movies and play bowling.. and you know guys what I really don’t like?..those girls around keep on stared at him..Damn!.

I sleep to his hotel for  5 (as in FIVE) nights..(and anyway nothing happened ok?)..He is nice not to do that diba?.I mean all boys want is “F_C_  from girls?.but he is not like them..Ok?.

But of all stories that I’ve heard from him?..i was offended when he tells me that ..there’s is a GIRL whom he met (living in the next city) and he use to like..but he got TURNED Off cos he saw that girl in the morning with another guy..I mean what about me?..what if he never saw that she’s with another guy?. would he stop looking for me?.

I still have this advice from my old friend that “IF YOU LIKE HER/HIM  THEN YOU WOULD NOT TELL THEM THAT YOU LIKED someone..( I mean were both living in one country diba?.)

Cos that would offend them even though they’ll never tell you (isn’t obvious?)

How insensitive diba?.

Anyway right now?..as in right now? April 01,2011?..we stopped texting each other for a month now?..

WE had this misunderstood thing happened..

And anyway?..its a small matter but its became this far..hmmp?.

I lost my cp 1 day after we had talk..me and my girls went to samal for refreshing  (it’s a girl night out)..I was excited cos I only got a chance to see them when they’re not busy..

We drink a little (of course I don’t drink much)..and keep on dancing all night..we keep on laughing and sharing experience at the call center before…

But when I see this guy whose been watching me the whole time while dancing?..i decided to stop dancing and pretend that I was sleepy..and I leave the girls out and stay inside and fell a sleep..

And at the morning we decided to leave the resort early..we stayed to our friends house and laughing again..and at lunch time I decided to go home cos of head ache..I was soo tired..And I realized that I haven’t touch my Cellphone the whole time..

Because of overwhelming, happiness cos im with my friends again I forgot wer I put my cp..(damn!)

I keep on thinking where It could possible be…

But after 2 weeks I guess?..my friends found it in there bed..(hmmP..damn)

I was happy to have my cp back..even though my cp is old model I still treasure that cos that cp has been with me for 4 years..(heehhehe)..

I Got 3 miscalled from 1 from my cousin 2 from my sister..and I got 12 messages from them..

BUT I DON’T GET ANY MISSCALL ATLIST ONE MESSAGE FROM “aAron”.. L

I was hurt cos of it..but I still pretend that im ok..i txted him first depite of ignoring me for 2 weeks..

But his not the same anymore..he is cold now..i was hurt..

He even accuse me of lying..having said that cos he said “I think you ddnt lost your cp..after what happened?.I mean what is he thinking?.i was hurt more cos he accuse me on lying to him..

I mean that is FUCK!! Im not a liar!!.

But then life must go on… I said Good bye to him..and thank him for everything.. (after all he never really like me nor love me.)

One sided way of love does not exist! And I should have known that..

What is this thing called?..  I think about all the good times.. i think back to all the perfect memories we made..

Is this the end of my dream?.is this what I get of praying for him and meeting him?. (I felt no regret)..i love him since the day I met him.. and I still DO..

But things are not wer they use to..I have to open my eyes widely and see who really HE IS AND NOT WHAT I WANT HIM TO BE..i was hurt that ive been longing for him for 2 years..we never made any promise that someday we’re gonna see each other again.. but who can tell that’s we ’re here now..

But in reality there’s no more “ME and HIM”.. L

but i still think about him… his face is everywhere. everything i look at somehow reminds me of him.The RED truck, a funny joke he told when i was with him … i remember ALL the details. i dont understand y i cant forget him? the spark is still there..(kainis)

should I count the stars again to be able to see that one falling star again?.i guess I need to make a wish…

Can somebody tell me...WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH ME?.

im worried it wont ever go away.

I always thought I was stronger than the emotions I was feeling and so fought them – trying to convince myself that I was ok… of course this tactic didn’t work very well

I love him..can someone tell me what do to?

womanisers

all men are womanizers, but the rest of them have enough integrity to stop their selves when there is someone that they care about..

But if that someone showed tooo much care does it enough for you to stick with her?I guess not..most men are always having an excuses.

They always have an excuses ..escuses…excuses..right girls?

Seems that I am weak and naive for believing such a guy in the first place. He is very good looking, and somehow women just throw themselves at him (except me). The problem is that I fell in love with him since the say he caught me! But anyway nothing happened to us we never had sex ok?.and im happy about it, and now don't know how to move on. I feel that I will not be able to trust any man anymore. He said he really cares about me..

Some people say : *You WILL love again and trust again...and you'll be a little wiser and more mature. Be careful not to paint all men with this brush of infidelity. Not all men are womanizers -- and there are ways to spot them.*

* One of the most important things to do is go SLOWLY in new relationships. Womanizers tend    to move fast, not giving women time to think

* Decent women do not simply want to be sexually desirable nor only fulfilled sexually.
They want to be valued, respected, appreciated, loved, and cherished.
Women do not want you to listen to them to try to get them in to bed, they want you to genuinely care about their feelings, desires, wishes and dreams and value their opinions.

*You may think that you are 'providing' a 'valuable service', but soon enough you will be to old and worn out to seduce anything.
And you will be alone, with no one to love you; no one to manipulate, nothing to make you feel like more of a man, because you aren't one.
A man marries the women he loves, and will put her own wishes before his own, as long as their reasonable.

The men I have left in my past are not in Love with me, but they Love the way I make them feel, and thats a huge difference. Instead of searching the internet to see if your man is on the womanizer list you should search your heart and ask yourself if you really love.!

I don't mean to offend you guys.. (peace tayo) :)

Womaniser

Most men are cheating.. I just cant understand why..!

Having said that..this evening we had this customer who’s with different girl every time he visit our shop ..(poor girl they don’t know what this guy been doing beyond their back)..

This guy is foreigner. His been cheating with 3 different girls living in 1 city?. (What the hell is he thinking? ) His not Cute anyway nor sexy! (I mean he is FUCKING FAT).. Does he have the right to  do that?

I actually  thought that..that  was his friend..But seemed like its not..The way they talked and their body language is soo obvious,. besides I’m not that ignorant (and as if I am!)not to  know..Damn!

His with other girl when his GF is not around?..Or maybe all of those girls are his GF?.(fiancée)

Can you imagine different partner every time?.

What about having sex with them?.. you know having sex with them whenever 1 (one) gf is around?.

Having sex with different girl every night?.

That’s grouse.!

You see most of you guys are CHEATERS.. what is this thing called? is it womaniser?..

* no more nice guy huh?*

rain rain and rain..

the smell of the rain is remind me of him.. can somebody teach me how to be insensitive?.

The rain reminds me of you.. how cold you are.. how gloomy you made me feel.. how much tears i shed because of you.. how much damage you caused.. and how stupid i am for still wanting rain..

i promised myself that when it was over, i'd laugh at the memories. but here i am without a smile in sight.

i promised myself that i would call you, just to see if you were okay. but here i am and i can't even dial your number. i promised myself that when it was over, i wouldn't shed a tear. but here i am, shirt almost soaked. i promised myself i would let you go gracefully. but here i am, hating myself .. i promised myself that when it was over, i wouldn't look back. but here i am unable to walk forward.

i promised myself i would say goodbye.

but here i am, still saying i love you.

very vulnerable isn't? i got this quote from someone..i and guess we felt the same way..  

I actually believe in love but i do believe that things change,people change and soo their LOVE change too..

And like her?. iM still saying i love you to you too..where ever you are hope your doing fine..

I asked God to take care of you every night and day cos "MAHAL KITA".

X.O.X.O

SNAKE

i always dream of a snake this few days..

There are many strange superstitions about snakes. It was beleived that to see a lone snake and feel threatened by it in a dream or in real life shows that you have a bad enemy that is working against you, it also a warning against bodily harm from an enemy.

To dream of many snakes in a pit was also considered to be a foreboding of much bad luck in love or business. If in a snake dream you overcome and kill a threatening snake in your dream, it shows that you will overcome your adversary and win out.

SMILE.

“When I see you smile and know that it is not for me, that is when I will miss you the most.”